Overcoming Struggles As A Stay At Home Mom

I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Never did I think raising children and caring for a home would cause me more struggle and personal growth as it did for me!

Now I want to make sure to mention I do love my children and I’m grateful for the life I have. But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t or isn’t sometimes hard.

There is a lot mentally and physically that goes into caring for children and a home.

In this post I will talk about some key issues I think most stay at home moms face and some tips on how to overcome them.

So, let’s start with the first one!

Boredom

Sometimes we are overwhelmed, but a lot of time it can be the complete opposite feelings of being just plain bored.

Definitely if this is your first child and you went from an active lifestyle of working, maybe university or going out with friends and family to now being stuck at home.

You can be left feeling like what do I do now? Even with older kids who are more self-sufficient I can be left feeling like this way as well.

When you are bored this is the perfect time to start learning some new homemaking skills, working on craft projects or maybe start setting up a homemaking binder. I have a free one for my subscribers to get you started!

Here are some ideas more ideas of what to do when you are stuck in a rut, bored at home.

1. Learn a new skill in the kitchen. Baking, sourdough, fermenting or dehydrating.
2. Learn to sew, crochet, knit or embroider.
3. Start up a small vegetable, herb or flower garden in pots or if you have the space a backyard!
4. Start creating a cleaning schedule believe me this makes life easier! I have a post How To Create A Peaceful Homemaking Schedule to walk you through the steps!
5. Go on little outings with kids to the library, parks, museum, play dates. This will help you get out and socialise as well.
6. Read a good book or maybe you can even do-little furniture renovations if that’s your thing!

There’s always something new to learn or do, try and get inspired and go for it! There’s so much you can create with your free time!

Loneliness

This is a big one. Even though I currently have 3 kids at home with me all the time I can go through stages of feeling very lonely.

We are social beings and if you are an extrovert you might experience a lot of loneliness being at home a lot. Being at home is great in order to make routines and get things done, but it can lead to feelings of isolation when your mind isn’t being stimulated with adult conversations.

Here are some things you can do if you are feeling lonely!

1. If you are stuck at home and can’t go out, why not invite others to your home? Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, a cup of tea, some cookies and a good chat can make all the difference!
2. Call a friend. You might be surprised how other moms are feeling the same way to and want someone to talk to.
3. Schedule regular outings to look forward to. Wether it’s a playgroup with other moms, church event, story time at the library etc. Knowing that you will be getting out and socialising gives you something to look forward to and makes it a bit easier.

Overstimulation

I don’t know about you but as kids get older, they seem to get nosier, and the toys are louder! My son is constantly running around, yelling and smashing toys together in play. My daughters are constantly wanting to chat.

While a lot of the time it can be sweet and lovely, by the end of the day it’s just plain right too much! The never-ending noise, watching the kids and list of things to do running through the brain never seem to end.

Here are some ways to help when you are feeling over stimulated!

1. Walk outside and get some fresh air for 5 minutes, if you can ground bare feet on the grass this really helps to recenter!
2. I love essential oils and many oils can help you feel calmer and more relaxed. Wether you have them going in a diffuser or you put them on your skin. Getting a few oils you like lavender, cedarwood, frankincense are all very grounding calming oils.
3. Play some music. Play music that calms you down like classical, the sound of rain or oceans, or some uplifting worship music. Sometimes kids will stop and listen and this can really just tone down the atmosphere to a calmer setting.
4. Stop to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. If you are feeling flustered, just stop what you are doing and take a moment to enjoy something. Even if it’s a piece of chocolate you keep stashed away. Enjoy the smell, taste and feeling for a moment.

Feeling Like You Got Nothing Done

As a stay at home mom the tasks are often very repetitive. Because of this it can feel like you haven’t really accomplished anything. We also tend to right lists that are pretty ridiculously long and feel like failures if that list hasn’t been accomplished.

Life happens as well so the lists of things we were hoping to get done can be quickly taken away by having to care for a sick child, children fighting a lot or appointments.

Here are some tips to help you when you feel like you just aren’t getting anything done!

1. I’ve mentioned this before but create a peaceful homemaking schedule. This helps you keep on track with the home with smaller more manageable daily tasks. You know exactly what needs to get done that day and you make it to suit your needs and lifestyle.
2. Instead of looking at your lists wanting to get everything done think of the things that are non-negotiables. Like feeding kids, homeschooling, caring for animals ect. What are your actual must dos for that day! If you got them done, then consider it a success.
3. Remember your kids are only small once. I often regret not spending enough time with them, I never regret not being able to vacuum that day.

Simple Tasks Now Seem Impossible

Remember before you were a stay at home mom. When running to the shops was relaxing, or you filled up your car and went to pay with no kids, or taking a shower by yourself in peace? Things that were once simple can now feel extremely overwhelming when you have a child or many children.

The thing is you can’t change the fact you have children with you now and we shouldn’t think of them as a burden. Yes, things where easier back then but raising children is a whole new experience that is beautiful in many ways.

Here are some tips to help reduce your load.

1. Train your children! I’m still doing this myself but if you start young it’s a lot easier. For example, when grocery shopping, teach kids to keep hands to themselves, and to stay to one side of the lane. You can make this a game to begin with when they are young.
2. Get kids to help at home: I am a big advocate for Teaching Kids To Do Chores and have written a post about it! Cleaning up shouldn’t be always on you, get kids to help out with basic chores around the house.
3. Make a plan to run extra errands when your husband or a family member is around to help. Things like grocery shopping, going to shops, post office can you do that once a week on a Saturday when husband is home or a certain day of the week when you have extra help watching kids?

Loss Of Sense Of Self

This can be a big thing. Life went from revolving around you in a way to now the main focus is on now on the kids, house, husband pretty much everything and everyone else.

A lot of moms are just trying to survive day to day doing the same things over and over. It can be hard to remember what your passions are and who you are.

I think it’s important to learn though that kids show us our true selves as well and what we need to work on. They can help us grow in many ways, but when you are feeling down and lost here are some tips to help.

1. If you are religious read your bible, pray and remember you are special to God and have a very important purpose. Grow in faith and form a strong connection to God. This will help you with as you find yourself again.
2. Jot down the things you used to love to do. Can you still do any of those things now? Read a book, have a date night with your husband and get a baby sitter, go to the beach with kids?
   • Even if you can’t do them alone you can generally include your children in your passions and those passions just might become there’s too.
3. Remember your kids will grow up. There are different stages in life, some are easier and some are harder. This stage of losing yourself will end, it won’t be hard forever.

Conclusion

I hope you found this post inspiring and that it helps you in any of your current struggles. Just remember you aren’t alone, every stage will eventually pass and to reach out to someone when you are in need!

Let me know in the comments if there is anything else I should have mentioned!